I just can’t be bothered sometimes.
I’ve tried a variety of things in my years. Now I’m writing, painting, looking towards starting an online business and selling my work. I have all these ideas, yet my desire to see them realised waxes and wanes.
I even doubt if I really want these things, whether I have made the right choice. Is difficult to work hard when there’s no desire for it, or I’m unsure of the path to take.
My emotions are all over the place. I have moments of inspiration, energy, fired up. Ready to face the world and care about my life.
Then and days later I feel empty, desolate where I’m ready to give it all up. It’s here in this listless place where all the drive and motivation is impossible to find.
I think the reason why I struggle with these feelings, (or lack of them) is that I don’t have important relationships in my life. Or rather the relationships I do don’t fulfil me in a deeper meaningful way.
I feel isolated, alone. Such a state gives me that desolate feeling.
It makes me doubt myself, doubt my ability to get stuff done, doubt over the choices in front of me. So the end result means it’s hard to make a choice, hard to get work done because I simply don’t care. The impetus and endeavour is seemingly nowhere, all that’s left is a sort of ‘meh’ sort of feeling.
Stagnation creeps in, time is wasted in empty distractions and meaningless pursuits.
The result can be negative feelings of shame, regret, anger, towards myself. I should be more motivated, care more about life!!!
When it passes and motivation returns work has piled up because of all the time wasted. So you I work too hard to get loads done, fail and end up stressed, and tired, listless again because you’re overworked.
It’s hard to carry on when you’re alone. With little or no support. It just shows how difficult it is to be brave when you on your own. To face life, face uncertainty, and do things which are difficult takes courage. Such stress is a big factor in anxiety and depression.
The feeling of emptiness sucks all the passion and zest for life and adventure away.
It’s why good friends and a partner are prerequisites for getting stuff done.
They give you emotional support, helpful advice, contacts, fun distraction from work, insights, laughter, and so much more.
If you don’t have such a social circle then like me you need to make it your highest priority. It’s not just a side issue, but the basis for your success, even the reason for it. Connection to others gives us meaning in our life, by helping others.
Passion, purpose, meaning, it’s all there in the company we keep.