I spend so much time on my own either at work or at home. So that when my mind becomes beset with troubles they take on a life of their own. My suffering becomes worse as negative thoughts, fears, and emotions all are magnified when I’m isolated from others.
My imagination runs amok and what are small problems suddenly become massive ones.
Like at work, slights against me, which perhaps were accidental become deliberate provocations and insults.
Something that works me up into a swirling storm of anger. With thoughts of retribution and vengeance.
I can stay suffering like this for hours sometimes because my work is not mentally taxing or distracting. So such thoughts and feelings fester in my mind.
I become angrier and more and more stressed. Locked in a negative loop of my own making. All inside my head.
Yet once I step out of my room (at work or my home) and look out upon the world. See the individuals I think are responsible for my suffering and my anger often but not always vanishes.
I see them for who they are. I see that maybe it’s not them who is the malicious one, but myself.
The demons of my imagination. Who made them out to be my enemies were telling me lies.
I feel a little ashamed of myself for the foolishness of my thoughts. Regret at being a slave to my emotions so easily.
This to me is how I suffering can happen so often. Cut off from the world my mind goes on a rampage, and since the negative thoughts are easier to believe I find my mood hitting rock bottom and then start digging.
The disconnection from reality is the culprit.
Divorced from reality and people our minds can distort our perceptions.
Our modem world seems to exacerbate this. By communicating digitally we only get to see the truncated view of each other and the world.
That’s if we communicate at all.
In text or email, we forget that only a tiny part of that person’s meaning can come through. Misunderstandings can be shockingly easy over the net.
Worse all we only seek out information that conforms to what we already believe. Reinforcing the persecution and victim trap we can fall into.
Such distortions lend themselves to our imagination. Isolation from reality plus an ego that needs to protect itself and you have moments when anger, frustration and thoughts of violence will take over. Or our fears, doubts leading to depression.
Isolating ourselves from the world means we live in our own bubble. It’s no wonder then our minds play tricks on us. We don’t question our thoughts and beliefs by testing them against the world outside.
Cut off from reality our own minds conjure the demons that cause our suffering. We imagine slights against us when no such intention was there. We worry over possibilities that haven’t existed yet.
The solution is to get out more. See reality for what it is not what you imagine. Lest we become victims of our own vivid imaginings.
Away from TV, pc and even your smartphone. (Your body may be outdoors but your mind is still in the virtual reality of the Internet).
All this means is that I need to get out more. The four walls that can sometimes feel like a refuge, but like now feel like a prison.
Without a check-in with reality and a lack of mindfulness, our minds can play tricks on us. Leaving us at the mercy of our inner demons.
So stop following social media or YouTube, turn off the TV and get out there.